A Ha Moment...sniff...

The subject of post-pregnancy poundage is a popular one. I dealt with it in a previous post entitled "Yummy Mummy...Not quite yet!" and another brilliant blog, Maternal Tales from the South Coast issued a rivoting post called "Pregnancy Weight- its just so depressing". I have had a depressing A-Ha Moment today that I feel compelled to share...why, I don't know...just need to write it because then maybe I'll be forced to truly do something about it. After a lovely party at a friends for their daughter's 1st birthday, my hubby, Little Miss, the dog and my mum and I went off to the inlaws for a bit of a splash in their in-ground pool. The pool is not heated and even though the weather was gorgeous, we knew a swim would be REALLY cold. But I thought, I'll brave it for my Little Miss and her maiden swim in Nanny and Grandad's pool (she was a newborn last summer so there was no swimming on the cards then). I threw swimming suits and towels and cover ups and clothes to change into afterwards into a bag, threw the swim ring in the car and away we went. When we arrived at the inlaws we bustled about getting Little Miss in her swimming suit (so cute) and hubby got in his. I then attempted to squeeze into my swim suit which, 3 years ago, was too big for me. Multiple helpings of fish and chips, chips and more chips over the last 3 years plus massive pregnancy poundage in the last year have seen that weight of three years ago off into the distance. I am no longer too small for that swim suit I brought...I am now way too big for that swim suit. And with nothing else to squeeze my gigantic-ness into or a tshirt to cover it up, I was unable to wear my suit and had to let Daddy enjoy the first swim with Little Miss. I sat on the sidelines, taking photos and laughing on the outside for my girl while inside I was appalled with myself. Why can I not get my act together? How have I let myself get this way? How am I ever going to be able to keep up with my Little Miss and go swimming and not be ashamed? By making a change...and really making it work this time. I've seen myself in some pictures from the last week (birthday parties coming out our ears) and I've thought, "Who is that woman and what tyre attached itself to her midriff?". I'm so sick of not having anything to wear! I'm so sick of wearing the same blousy rubbish to hide my pudgy middle! I want to feel good about me and be proud of the way I look! When my daughter pats my belly, I don't want it to jiggle and wobble. I know I'll never be flat-tummied or have a six pack but I would like to fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes and maybe have the struggle of affording a few new clothes because everything else is TOO BIG!!! So, starting tomorrow (15 June, 2009), I will make better eating choices, I will do those abdominal exercises I've been meaning to do, I will attempt to work out to the Pilates DVD that I got 6 months ago and I will stop being a LARD ASS!!! Who's with me???